My roommate made a comment recently that her favorite ways to keep up with people are her blog, her twitter, chatting on gchat, and stalking people on social media sites. It made me realize how much I no longer live on the internet the way I did in high school.
I remember in high school I would spend hours talking to people I've never met in real life. I honestly cared about these people I had never seen before -- people my parents would tell me I have no reason to trust. I hated how they asked "How do you know they're not some crazy child predator?" Back then, I never listened to them. I was willing to divulge my information and forge friendships. I was also willing to spend hours talking to my online friends on the phone.
Since then I've changed. I think my friendships from college have given me less reason to be online. I also think the freedom to actually leave my home and do things has also caused me to give up living so much of my life online. Most importantly, I think I've gained a certain level of paranoia that I did not have about the internet.
Also, just because I stopped making friends online does not mean I am incapable of online communication and interaction. I think it just requires someone to reach out and interact with me. If my online friends from high school started to contact me, I think I would be very happy. I don't think I care about them any less. Then again, that's something really hard to quantify. I hope I can reconnect with people, but I don't want them keeping tabs on me without my knowing.
In fact, I try to put as little information on Facebook as I can. I don't like how everything is linked now. I don't like how so many people can find me. I don't like how there are people I don't care about who may my still access my information. I catch myself doing that to others and it horrifies me a little that someone I only friended on Facebook for politeness reasons would look me up the way I do when I get bored. I think my sense of privacy just doesn't want anyone to see anything about me unless they talk to me themselves (or at least contact me in some way).
Of course, this thought is hypocritical. I do stalk others on facebook (just not as often, I think, as is standard). I also don't mind my friends (people I have exchanged more than just a few pleasantries with, people who I do and/or really want to care about) look me up on social media sites. (This also means I put bits of information online and interact a little on social media type sites.) It would be nice, though, if they let me know. Then again, I don't really plan on letting the people I stalk know.
Am I being unreasonable? Am I trying to resist the inevitable? Is my paranoia just paranoia?
<3
Hao
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That's not quite what I said/meant. ^^ I said that's my favorite way to keep up with people, ie, people that are not/are no longer in my active social circle but who I still like and am interested in. I also don't like talking on the phone, so when face-to-face is not an option, I usually prefer online.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I think there's nothing unreasonable about how much people use the internet and how much information they put up there, so long as they do it consciously. Being paranoid online is generally the better position.
I like being easy to find and I sometimes go out of my way to make sure I am. I enjoy knowing things about people, so the info I put out there is reciprocating for the other people who know me who delight in knowing these things. I've never been bothered by the idea of people looking me up or knowing things about me. I am only bothered by people coming to wildly incorrect conclusions about me, or knowing things about me that would cause them to judge me negatively. So some things I generally keep to myself, not because I don't want people to know, but because of how I think they'll react.
Facebook does bother me a bit in how it handles things, but until there's an alternative that everyone's moved to, I'm sticking with it. I simply don't put anything of a sensitive nature up there. I treat facebook as a public space, and I think everyone should, all the time.
oh. sorry. i think i read it and then my brain went on its merry way.
ReplyDeletei think, however, your interactions with me has made me feel you prefer interacting with me online more. :/ but maybe it's just because you have more time to put together emotions etc to be presented?
It is mostly the more time. I have never made decisions quickly so conversations that involve decision making are often stressful for me in person. Part of it is also an unfortunate side effect of being an extrovert living with me. I retreat a lot (I did this to Nina too).
ReplyDeleteHao - it's Shiyuan. I completely agree with what you've said about computer/Internet/Facebook usage now vs. high school. There are days & sometimes weeks where I forget to check Facebook, or Twitter. Kind of a miracle, I think.
ReplyDeleteI'm am also totally creeped out by 1) how much people share of themselves online, and 2) how easy it is to find out ANYTHING about anybody online. Especially if said person has a strange Chinese name like we do. When I think of how much I've given up about myself in the form of blog posts (remember LiveJournal???), Twitter updates, and Facebook posts, it makes me feel gross.
For example: Like I am stalking you RIGHT NOW. That's how I'm reading your October post in December. Creepy!
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